My time in Michigan continues to go well and as it always does this time of year. Today was my day at the Ann Arbor Art Fair, one of the biggest art fairs in the country. If you ever get a chance to go, you should. It's artists from around the country, plus a lot of stores have sidewalk sales with mega deals. See my last post for my Urban Outfitters sale, LOVE it.
Trying not to think about the fact that in a few days I will be having brain surgery. And it may or may not work. Yeah, did I mention that? It may or may not cure my symptoms. If the symptoms are caused by Chiari, it will help, but there is no way of knowing for sure if Chiari is the problem or not. Super freaky. From the outside, it probably seems crazy to have this surgery with no promise of success. But it's not, it's crazy not to. I can't continue living my life like this, with the pain that I have. I just can't. I don't know how to explain it, and I don't think I need to. I hurt all the time. How about that? I once said that, and someone said to me, "Do you hurt right now?" What part of all the time do you not understand? No, I don't hurt now, just all the OTHER time. YES, right now! Geez.
Although I have never been pregnant, I relate chronic pain to being pregnant in a way. From what I understand, you are completely out of control of your body when you're pregnant. Chronic pain is a little like that. You have no control of how you feel, you feel like there's an alien in your body and won't leave you alone. Even if you want to do certain things, you just can't because the pain won't allow you to. That make sense?
Tomorrow is a day without plans (nice!) then Saturday I head to Runyan Lake to visit with family. Hopefully will do a bit of tubing, some swimming, hoping for sunshine.
I want that shirt!
ReplyDelete"From the outside, it probably seems crazy to have this surgery with no promise of success. But it's not, it's crazy not to."
ReplyDeleteI completely understand feeling this way. Though my chronic pain was different, it was pretty damn constant and disruptive and limiting.
Before my second surgery, I was convinced that there was this crazy chance they'd open me up and find nothing! But really, deep down, I knew something was wrong, and it was the best decision I ever made. Sure enough, it helped. No such thing as a cure, but it's at least given me 3 mostly pain free (or less painful) years. Be strong love!
I am trying to get something really special for you in time to send it to you in Milwaukee!