Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Brain surgery? That's hilarious!

Got my EKG and chest xrays done today - nice to check those off the list.

Apparently the fact that i'm getting brain surgery is funny.  Or at least the guy who did my EKG thought so.  The event went as follows:

guy pointing to a gown: "Do you know what this is?"
me thinking: it's a prom dress.  what am I, an idiot?
me: "yeah..."
guy: "Put it on, opening in the front."
me thinking:  Geez bossy.  Good thing I know what it is or I'd be totally lost.

guy: "When was your last EKG?"
me: "I don't know, like 5 years ago."
guy laughs: "Yeah, that was a long time ago."
me: "I don't get them regularly."
guy: "Why are you having one today?"
me: "Part of a routine pre-op physical, I'm having brain surgery."
guy: laughter
me thinking: WTF??  is this happening?  How is that at all funny?
guy: "Why?"
me: "my brain is too big."
more laughter by guy
me thinking: if you laugh one more time at this, I will give you a solid punch to the throat
guy: "Do you use?"  as in, use drugs
me thinking: Again, WTF??  Who asks that?
me: "no.  it's a genetic condition."
guy: chuckle, "What do they do?"
me thinking: are you really asking me this?  you must for SURE want a punch to the throat
me: "Take out a piece of my skull."
guy: "So it can grow?"
me thinking:  Yeah, you ass clown.  After using a number of illicit drugs, I spend hours doing sodoku and it enlarged my brain so much it's too big.  Once they take out a piece, then i can do sodoku AND crossword puzzles!
me: "um...  No...  to make room...."
awkward silence.

I kid you not.  It was so bizarre and inappropriate.  I am so glad an EKG literally takes about 2 minutes.


  1. DANG, you should have throat punched him. Or asked him what was so funny. Then reported him and gotten him fired...or just accidently tripped him and then said take that ASS CLOWN. Sorry babe. I wish I was there to throw throat punches for you. Miss you like WHOA!

  2. Ass. He's an ass. Though he's probably just an uncomfortable and awkward ass instead of a malicious ass. Next time tell him it's so the zombies can have easy access to your brain.

  3. Un. Be. Lievable.
    ...and these are the geniuses running our top-notch sensitive medical equipment...