Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Late night post - a shortie

I will post just a bit, it's late and I've had a long day.

Sometimes I go to the gym and I feel this terrible bubbling of envy.  I see people sweating buckets, working their tails off.  I see people who can do back-to-back classes.  I see women wearing these perfect workout outfits, and looking amazing doing so.

I think that's my biggest frustration - I am not able to exercise how I want to, and it frustrates me.  I suppose frustrate doesn't quite capture it.  It pisses me off.  It makes me sad.  It makes me discouraged.  I want to be that person sweating it out, running, pushing my body to make it better.  But it seems many days all I can do is make my body get up and out of bed.

It is coming up on one year since surgery.  I can't even believe it.  It seems so long ago, yet so close.  I refuse to believe I went through such a traumatic event and will not feel better.  It has to get better.  It HAS to.


  1. :( Sorry love! Maybe it's about time we had a friend date, ASAP!

    Also, I'm not the biggest fan of Yin yoga because it forces you to be present with your body/emotions/thoughts everything you might want to avoid, but it is also a very restorative/gentle practice that might bring about even a small sense of relief. It uses lots of bolsters so that you can relax into a pose, and the muscles and fascia can release. Like I said, it is not for everyone, but may be worth a shot. Also, no one can show off in that class with all their fancy energy! It's mellow.

    But most of all what I wanted to say is that I LOVE YOU! A lot. Like big time...bigger than Oprah! So there's that. Big hugs!

  2. Even when I work my tail off, I can't do back-to-back classes at the gym. My sister-in-law can, and does (daily), but my body just isn't going to let me do that. I find it challenging to work out even 6 days a week now that triathlon training is in full tilt, and the only reason I can do it is that the multi-sport thing keeps me using different muscle groups.

    I believe we can change ourselves and our bodies, but I also believe that each of us has to work with within what we have, be it bum knees, asthma, or, in your case, a giant brain. We each need to set our own standards for success, and they'll be different based on our genetic handicaps.
    I'm proud of you for still Going to the gym, for trying all the time, for taking the risk on surgery, and for keeping faith that things will get better!

  3. :( I guess it's a good lesson to be thankful for our bodies working ... maybe I should head to the gym and sweat for you!