It's been a long time since I've posted. Two months almost. I've been having my ups and downs, which is to be expected I suppose.
I'm having a lot of memory trouble. Not just like, "Oh, what did I come into the kitchen for?" More like driving almost all the way home from work and trying desperately to remember if I unplugged the space heater... Can't remember, so I drive all the way back to check (to discover that I indeed unplugged it). It's hard to explain, it's like there's completely zero memory of something happening. There are some things that totally don't stay in my mind, even if I did it just minutes ago. It's frightening. It's hard to work with that problem. I don't know when I should be concerned. It takes a lot of effort for me to recall things, just every day things. Like what I'm wearing without looking down to see. Like if I gave the dogs their fishoil with their breakfast. All these little things that I suppose are fairly insignificant, but add up to be a huge part of my day.
I know everyone has forgetful moments. I get that. But I don't feel like I'm 'sharp.' Honestly, I feel kind of stupid. I feel spacey and like I'm always one step behind everyone else. I've never felt stupid before, but when I really think about it, that's what I'm feeling. Will this go away? Am I permanently memory-challenged?
thank you for the update. i'm sure it's very hard to share these things, but i appreciate your openness. praying for you memory.
ReplyDelete:( I hope it goes away and you get your memory back. That sounds scary. I will be praying for you! Love you
ReplyDeleteI know chemo brain isn't quite the same thing, but I found it was a solid 6 months before I could think again. My mother-in-law had some major head trauma and found that her ability to think didn't really start to return until the 9 month mark. Here's hoping time will help.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys. Buggin - that does give me a piece of hope. I'm trying to remember (no pun intended) that i had a fairly traumatic surgery and it takes TIME. ugh.
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